Monday, July 13, 2009

Roller Coaster

I have been debating about jumping into the blogging world for quite some time. I have a "site" for family and friends to keep updated on our family, but have felt somewhat pulled to truly blog. I just wasn't sure I had much to say, but today I feel like jumping in so here goes...

The past two weeks have truly been a roller coaster for me. We found out on June 25 we were expecting our third child. We were beyond excited. We had always hoped our kids would be close in age and with about 22 months between our first two and our third coming 22 months after the second how perfect was that? So we spent a week celebrating, only to wind up in the hospital July 4th to learn I was loosing our little one. Talk about devastated. It was a long two days for the miscarriage to be "complete". Whatever that means, because I didn't feel complete I felt very much like something, no someone was now missing from my life. I was confused, extremely sad, and actually felt physically ill.

In the midst of our loss, we learned we had an offer on our house which we had been praying desperately to sell. So our minds were now caught up in coming to an agreement with the prospective buyers, while my body was still recovering. I would cry each morning, spend the day caring for my two beautiful children, loving husband, and all the other details of life, and then fall into bed to cry myself to sleep. Then I woke one morning very peaceful. I was filled with a peace that passes all understanding. I knew I was and so was my family in God's hands. We started the process of gathering paper work, inspections, appraisals, etc. This house buying process has been anything but smooth, but I know there are no surprises to God. The repairs the inspector found at the house we want to buy hadn't been hidden from God, he knew all along.

So this story is no where near over. As I was beautifully reminded by two close friends, I am free to mourn our loss and rejoice God's provision all at the same time. So I begin my journey into blogging...

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